Because gay couples are not allowed to marry or adopt in China, they started thinking about surrogacy. Qiguang Li and Wei Xu arrive at Los Angeles International Airport on their first trip to the US, in 2015. Photograph: Courtesy Quiguang Li and Wei Xuįor this story, I spoke to a dozen gay Chinese men who have begun or completed surrogacy in the United States. Almost all of them started considering it between the ages of 30 and 40, and they often discussed how one needs to be extremely devoted to the idea of having his own child before embarking on the lengthy and often excruciating surrogacy journey.
But they also often mentioned mianzi, the nuanced Chinese concept that literally translates to “face” but also means social standing and dignity. Li says that for many gay men, the strong push for babies comes from the elder generation. The social and cultural norm in China, inherited from thousands of years of patriarchal traditions, is that having a descendant of your own blood is necessary for a good life. Although this idea is under fierce attack from some in China’s younger generation, it still resonates with many young Chinese people, including some gay men who are asked, or volunteer, to have a child to protect the mianzi of their parents and themselves.įor some of the parents, that means going as far as pushing their sons into the surrogacy journey.
